5 Essential BDSM Tips for Amateurs


Though some people will keep telling you that sex is not important in the matters of love, it actually is. Sex often strengthens a relationship and makes it more intimate. BDSM i.e. Bondage, Domination, Sado-Masochism often helps in making your sex life interesting and this is why many people are curious about this practice these days. However, before getting into BDSM, you must research on it and have a broad idea about how it goes. And research does not mean reading Fifty Shades of Grey because you will hardly get any correct information about BDSM in those books. Read below to know about the basics of BDSM before getting into it.

Do it Only if You are Comfortable

To be honest, BDSM is not everyone's forte. It's extremely hardcore, sometimes it gets downright embarrassing. Therefore, do not get into it only because it's fashionable. Do it because you derive pleasure from it. People who are into BDSM enjoy the adrenaline rush and the feelings of exhilaration that come with it. Question yourself if you really want to be adventurous in bed.

Make a list of Your Preferences

The best thing to do before getting serious about BDSM is to do one of those online BDSM tests where they tell you what your tests and preferences are, and if you are a submissive or a dominant person in bed. BDSM tests make things so much clearer; and you might just discover kinks you never thought you had. Make your partner go through the test as well and discuss the result with each other so that you can come to an understanding about what each of you like or dislike.

Trust and Mutuality are Essential

Remember that BDSM should enhance the trust and intimacy between you and your partner, not decrease it. No matter how it apparently looks, BDSM is deeply embedded in reciprocation and mutuality. It does not matter if you are a sub or dom, your pleasure is as important as the next person. In BDSM, etiquettes are extremely important; it is a game which has rules. Even when you are the dominant partner, you cannot do whatever you want with your sub; you have a responsibility of pleasing them and taking care of them.

Consent is Everything

Though BDSM superficially seems rough, consent is part and parcel of BDSM. Before starting, you must decide a safe word, usually, the sub decides it. As soon as the sub says the word, the dom must immediately stop. The practice of BDSM is successful only when both parties are enjoying in their own ways. This is why discussing your kinks and fetishes with your partner and knowing their kinks are things you need to do first.

Taking Help from the Websites

There are many BDSM sites and online communities thriving all over the internet these days and they extensively guide you through all your trouble with the BDSM lifestyle. In those communities, you can share pictures, videos, take part in BDSM events and discussions and if you are lucky, you may even find your partner.

BDSM can really prove to be fun and enjoyable if you have the right mindset to enjoy it, and more importantly if you have the proper knowledge of how to go about it.